#92 - You know you're Swedish when...

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• You associate 3 pm on christmas-eve with Donald Duck and vice versa.
• You couldn`t care less about the sixth of june and consider celebrating midsummer as being as close to a proper national day as it will never get.
• You associate thursday with peasoup and pancakes.
• You finds it perfectly normal to dress up at easter and knock on random neighbours doors in hope of getting some sweets.
• You believe there are no"real" traditions in Sweden. (Oh, how wrong you are!)
• You eat buns with almondpaste and whipped cream on "Fettisdagen".
• You don`t mind walking instead of taking the car.
• You put toiletpaper on the seat in a public toilet and doublefold it neatly.
• You are prone to stand in line without complaining.
• You are or have been addicted to Lunarstorm/Bilddagboken/Playahead or Helgon.
  
• You answer the phone by saying your first name.
  
• You rattle the toiletdoor-handle like hell, even though it`s clearly locked.
  
• You loudly proclaim that the tapwater in your home is better than any mineralwater sold in supermarkets. ( anywhere in the world)
  
• You find it annoying that you have to tip in a restaurant outside of Sweden.
• You belive it`s very uncommon for people under 25 to actually be married.
  
• You openly discuss taboo subjects like sex at the dinnertable or parties with strange people.
  
• On the night of th 25:th every month you go wild with expensive drinks.
  
• You know it`s a sin lifting the top layer Aladdin chocolatebox before it`s empty.
  
• You know when the sunny days coming it`s finally time for "uteservering" when you can sit outside for your "fika".
  
• You find people from other cultures generally being rather loud.
  
• You don`t consider a congregation of trees being a "real" forest unless it takes at least 20 minutes to drive trough it.
  
• You think that people that don´t send their kids to nurseryschool ("dagis") are strange.
  
• You only eat sweets on saturdays.
  
• You think that everyone is allowed to walk in any field or forest. And when people abroad tells you it`s private land you say: But what about "Allemansrätten"?
  
• You fully believe that walking on "a-brunnar" gives you bad luck.
  
• You remind yourself which months in the year Sweden is warm by humming the Gyllene Tider- lyrics: "Juni, Juli, Augusti".
  
• You can`t imagine a future without a red "villa", a volvo, two kids and a dog.
  
• You understand the unspoken war between Stockholm och Göteborg.
  
• You don`t find it rude to snoop around in peoples houses the first time you visit. "Gå husesyn"
  
• You think every country could do "personnummer" to make things run more smoothly.
  
• You hate, but would never refrain from living under "The law of Jante" nomatter how hard you try.
  
• You don`t consider small round and fluffy things, served with suryp to be actual pancakes. Real pancakes are thin, taste better and are served with jam and whipped cream! (-Just like the ones Pippi Longstocking makes)
  
• You know that a sandwich consists of one slice of bread.
  
• Making the cheese look lika a skislope is a mortal offense.
  
• You love O`boy and know that is no way Nesquickpowder ever can replace it.
  
• You think it`s ridiculous to sell milk and yogurt in anything other than Tetrapak.
  
• You know that the most common cars in Sweden are not Volvos or Saabs, but "Ahlgrens bilar".
  
• You call cupcakes "muffins" and argue that your way is right.
  
• You insist that swedish chocolate is the best in the world, despite what the Belgians and the Swiss might say.
  
• You know that there is a massive difference between "gravlax" och smoked salmon.
  
• You seriously consider "kebabrulle" being a swedish dish.
  
• Gravy just doesn`t cut it. "Gräddsås" is the shit!
  
• You feel that "kladdkaka" taste better than normal chocolate cake.
  
• You are abroad and "lösgodis" (pick n´mix) becomes more desirable than cigarettes.
  
• You put salt and not sugar on your popcorn (and think people who eat sugury popcorn are totally weird).
  
• It confuses you that McDonalds abroad doesn`t have bearnasie sauce.
  
• You claim that swedish strawberries are superior to all others, but really can`t tell the difference.
  
• You really don`t get how anyone can eat peanutbutter with jam on their toast.
  
• You really suffer by only being able to eat white bread when going abroad.
  
• You like things in general to be "lagom"
  
• You find it obvious that a mile is 10 kilometres!
  
• You understand the phrase "fjortis" and suddenly don`t miss being a teenager anymore.
  
• You are abroad and find it difficult to stop yourself thanking the "kock" for the lovely dinner.
  
• You say something was "very funny" when you mean it "was a lot of fun".
  
• You`ve tried to teach a Non-Swed to say "Sex laxar i en laxask".
  
• You say "Yes thanks" instead of "Yes please".
  
• IKEA is home, away from Home.
  
• You prefer to buy food at ICA instead of Netto or Lidl
  
• As a child it was almost a religous thing to wake up at 9 am during the summer holidays, in order to watch "sommarmorgon".
  
• Your mother is very likely to find Ernst Kirchsteiger really attractive.
  
• You only listen to "schlager" once a year.
  
• You know that Sweden will never actually win the World Cup in football, but keep partying anyway. You`re at a sportcompetition abroad and shouting "Heja heja" although no one understands it.
  
• You generally consider the pre-party better than the actually night out that follows.
  
• You consider cannabis more dangerous than alcohol.
  
• You don`t find it weird to get undressed in a locker room with unknown people.
  
• You are obsessed with weather.
  
• You get homesick out of reading the list.

//Hanna